Junior Golf Tournament Gifts

Golf Fib

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

Little League Umbrellas

I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

"Wanna play doctor?"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

"It's my week to be responsible for the class plant."

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

"I think our coffee shop is going after an even younger market."

'I took third place on our corporate golf outing, You should see the first place trophy,'

Window in the Outfield.

"Hi kids, going anywhere nice this summer."

"It's a mug's game!"

"You participated the hell out of that tournament."

'Thanks for showing the new kid around, Wesley.'

'The challenge in teaching junior high is that the maturity levels can fluctuate from 12th grade to 3rd grade in a matter of seconds.'

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

'Let's play Doctor - You be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the mal-practice attorney.'

'Michael, use your words. What do you say when someone takes your truck?'

Golfer hits a plane on his drive.

'At the Proctologist Open.'

A child with his cricket set

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'Why can't she just call it the final exam like other teachers?'

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"This is outrageous! I demand to have it! Right here, right now!"