Junior Leagues Gifts

Little League Umbrellas

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

Small child checks out a book.

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

Going Shopping Together.

Thanks to the amazing new Zap-a-Slacker, parents are able to send a mild electrical current to their daydreamy Little Leaguers.

'Would you mind if these junior managers have a go at assessing the profitability of your treatment?'

Window in the Outfield.

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

Formula One kids road rage

Soccer Uniforms

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

'Let's play Doctor - You be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the mal-practice attorney.'

Knocked it out of the park

Golf Fib

A child with his cricket set

"Your little league coach traded you?"

'Don't be afraid of the ball, son!'

'Gotta take ya' out kid, seems you've thrown your arm out again.'

'My dad won't let me take steroids until I'm seven.'

'I'm holding out for a $1 million signing bonus, plus product endorsement perks.'

"This is outrageous! I demand to have it! Right here, right now!"