Jungle Lawyer Gifts

'I've invented copyright.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Crow and fox

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'Tarzan'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

'It's chaps like you who are the backbone of these expeditions,Fanshaw.'

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

Elderly Tarzan...

'My husband never does anything in a hurry either: Not only is he a sloth, he's a lazy sloth...'

'Ms Phelps, it's a jungle out there. Must we make one in here as well?'

'It may be his inner ear.'

'Tap shoes? You can't use tap shoes in the jungle! Honestly, Herb, you'd let the trader sell you anything!'

'Do you think we ought to?'

The 1st annual 'coming together of the species' party had been going superbly until this point.