Jungle Lawyer T-Shirts

'I've invented copyright.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Way too much anthropomorphising

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'Tarzan'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

'It's chaps like you who are the backbone of these expeditions,Fanshaw.'

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

'Ms Phelps, it's a jungle out there. Must we make one in here as well?'

Elderly Tarzan...

'My husband never does anything in a hurry either: Not only is he a sloth, he's a lazy sloth...'

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

'It may be his inner ear.'

'Tap shoes? You can't use tap shoes in the jungle! Honestly, Herb, you'd let the trader sell you anything!'

"Check this out. If you pace back and forth, it hypnotizes them and they give you a steak."

'I'll grab the prey's attention and distract them while you sneak up from behind...'