Jungle Diplomat T-Shirts

"I'm taking you to the Four Seasons. You'll enjoy the fear."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'I've invented copyright.'

Bipartisan.

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

Advantages of Growing Older

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"There, are you happy?"

"Look, why don’t you just come down and talk to him? He wants to make up."

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

"Is your dog going to rip our heads off … I mean, friendly?"

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."