Squirrel Diplomat T-Shirts

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

EU

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Landing That Tough Account

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"