Animal Diplomats T-Shirts

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Landing That Tough Account

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Bipartisan.

"Maybe some of us don't want to give ourselves a round of applause for agreeing to restore the delicate balance of our ecosystem."

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

Good duck, bad duck.

Advantages of Growing Older

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

'Okay, how do we do this?'

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

"There, are you happy?"

"Look, why don’t you just come down and talk to him? He wants to make up."