Wildlife Diplomat T-Shirts

"Look, why don’t you just come down and talk to him? He wants to make up."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Yo$mite National Park and Delware North Corporate Greed

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

It was hard to put a price on progress. Real hard without a calculator.

Hope...

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

The last bird in the last wood...

"Every year I lobby for a tax on penguins, seals and polar bears and every year NOTHING!"

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Landing That Tough Account

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

Bio-obsolescence

"What am I up to? I'm collecting human rubbish floating on the ocean and I'll dump it in front of their parliament!"