Jungle Jurist Gifts

"We found him wandering aimlessly in the woods. He was raised in the city by a pack of lawyers."

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Snowman of the Apes

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

"Influence this."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Crow and fox

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Ecotourism.

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

Monkey Business

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

Color-Rectal Exams for Baboons...

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'I've invented copyright.'

"Every year, the zebras get faster and faster."

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'