Jujitsu Grappler Gifts

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

The Jeopardy of Progress

Overjumpers

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Disease Management

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

How's the writer's block?

'Such petulance!'

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

Cat boxer

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

Green Belt

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'