Juice Cleanse Gifts

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Easy chair exercise machines

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'I could have had a V-8!'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

Going to the pub with kids...

Orange House of Horrors

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"If we want a realistic strawberry flavour we'll need to add more salicyaldehide and hydrobenzoic acid."

A tiny donkey with coffee, juice and pastries is at the door! Ah, the breakfast "burrito"!

"No thanks. I'm a junk food cleanse this week."

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

'First, I want you to cut back on the carrot juice.'

'Let's buy juice from that mobile juice bar! Oh, it's gone.'

"Take it easy—that's just Lynn back with the orange juice."

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"Why did you sell your orange juice business?"

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

'For breakfast I have a glass of orange juice and a performance enhancing breakfast bar. Why do you ask?'