Juice Gifts

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"It's what you asked for. Orange juice with pulp."

Bar Bar

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'Let's buy juice from that mobile juice bar! Oh, it's gone.'

Karate Chop.

"Why did you sell your orange juice business?"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Easy chair exercise machines

'I could have had a V-8!'

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

'I could have had a V-8!'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

Lemonade Survey

Orange House of Horrors

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

A tiny donkey with coffee, juice and pastries is at the door! Ah, the breakfast "burrito"!

"If we want a realistic strawberry flavour we'll need to add more salicyaldehide and hydrobenzoic acid."

My doctor recommended exercise to slim down and orange juice for the vitamins. A weight and C approach!

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

'First, I want you to cut back on the carrot juice.'

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

"Take it easy—that's just Lynn back with the orange juice."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"