Juicing Gifts

'I feel so much healthier since we got this juicer.'

Carrot juice selling better than lemonade

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'Lemon and water is great for digestion, but not for your early morning greeting.'

Fruit Mart: Closing down, going into liquidiser.

A panda waiting for bamboo juice

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

Orange juice shop.

New grapefruit safety standard.

"The end is near."

Shake well before drinking.

'If this is the kind of juicing athletes do, no wonder it's illegal.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Oh, dude. That is just NASTY. Did you juice your cell phone?'

Orange Tree.

'I could have had a V-8!'

Detox. Before and after.

"You can juice most things, but not a burger with fries!"

Concentrated Orange Juice

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

Easy chair exercise machines

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

Orange House of Horrors

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!