Judiciary Journeyman Gifts

"Forgive me, Judge, but I've had a convenient loss of memory."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Truth

The Paper Route

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Antonin Scalia

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

Counsel's Opinion.

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

Supremacist Court

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

"I don't plead."

'...unfortunately for you, I only see things in black and white.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

The Lawyers who were told their hearings had been cancelled...again!

'It's our prorogues gallery.'

"Objection over-ruled Counselor! Proceed to the clearly marked Fire Exit, if you follow my meaning."

"Seasonal depression and existential depression and political depression for the trifecta."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

'Here's a toughie - does a public nuisance have a right of privacy?'

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"

'If at first you don't succeed...appeal to a higher court.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."