Judicial Journeyman Gifts

Texas Abortion Obstacle Course

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

The Paper Route

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"Seasonal depression and existential depression and political depression for the trifecta."

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

'It's chaps like you who are the backbone of these expeditions,Fanshaw.'

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Me, Alice and God

'Where do you see yourself in five years? Still looking for work?'

"Forgive me, Judge, but I've had a convenient loss of memory."

'I want to tap into my higher self.'

SUPREME COURT: thank you for not social engineering beyond this point!

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'Do you think the legal profession is modern and forward-thinking, Sir?'

'Who'd you say recommended this place?'

Lend me a fiver - "Careful Dempster, this swamp is crawling with leeches."

"I don't get grounded. My dad's a judge so I get sequestered."

'So many loopholes, so little time.'

Sonia Sotomayor

"Every time we say we will uphold precedent, Trump tweets he wants us to uphold the president."

Why did you think the prenup lawyer gave me such a good deal?

EXEC ORDER

Extreme Court of the United States

"We were wondering if you would like to come in for a beer, Brett."

'Fortunately, you have enough money to get the law on your side.'