Journal Journeyer Gifts

The Paper Route

"Behold the secret to happiness."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

Discomfort zone.

'Dress it up any way you want, it's still just doing laundry.'

Alf and Misery Guts

'Our fifteenth anniversary -- the adventure continues!'

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

'It's chaps like you who are the backbone of these expeditions,Fanshaw.'

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Books: Success stories & Sob stories.

A person thinking happy thoughts that insulate him from the gloom around him

"Forgive me, Judge, but I've had a convenient loss of memory."

SUPREME COURT: thank you for not social engineering beyond this point!

Bike Rides

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

You won't get seasick if you focus on something far away. Good --- I'll think about the federal budget being balanced.

'He says he's a friend of the Santa Claus.'

"Great news from the science journal. They was us to rethink our methodology, but they love our results."

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

The Never Ending Story

'Who'd you say recommended this place?'

"A riding we will go, Both me and my hound, Both safe and sound, A riding we will go!"

Wedding Car

Lend me a fiver - "Careful Dempster, this swamp is crawling with leeches."