Jovial Grocery Shopper Gifts

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Friendly bacteria

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Complex Carbs

Eye of Newt Helper

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Low income vampires.

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

"Today is catch-your-own day."

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

Christmas food.

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

"OMG! I've bought wine instead of milk...again!"

Fish counter: sole/solemate.

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

"This is it! The perfect turkey!"

Free sample stand in food market.

'Firstly Madame, the Green Grocer is across the road and secondly that should explain why your 'bananas' are vibrating...!'

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.