Journal Juggler Gifts

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Introducing...Anagraman.

That party went well.

'The girls must be feeling better...'

To lessen the strain on their backs, many students are opting for the new Velcro shirts.

This one's mixed media--- I had jelly on my hands while finger-painting.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

"She's late for her stress management course."

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book

Rapid reading center.

Sorry, sir, but today is Tuesday, and I never did get the hang of Tuesdays.

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

ESSENTIALS for those who are OVER 50 AND OUT OF WORK

Toupee.

"Dad want's me to hit the books."

'Honey! Come quick! I just putted four balls into the jelly jar with my new grip!'

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

"If the text is fine, blame the title, then the footnotes, then the annexes and if all else fails, raise vague concerns..."

Caution falling books

'Mrs. McWit, reshelving encyclopedias, slips a disk, proving again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

"I've got to figure out how to get paid for work dreams."

"Everyone off the internet, I have a meeting to attend."

EXEC ORDER

Dear Diary, The bad news is that somebody around here jimmied open your lock and read your contents. The good news is that the contents are mainly fictional. The sound in the backyard of picks and shovels and a mad search for buried treasure is music to my ears.

The Battle Between Television and Books

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

"I had twins, so I had to add a pouch."

Wife: 'So how was your Speed-Reading class honey?!' a man who couldn't handle the pace of a Speed Reading class enters his flatapartment injuried with a trail of pages behind him on the ground

"Gracie, I don't think you can read a book for your school talent show."

Best sellers. New releases. Books you still haven't finished yet, Claire.