Journal Jockey Gifts

"If the text is fine, blame the title, then the footnotes, then the annexes and if all else fails, raise vague concerns..."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Rocking Horse

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Gamers

The Paper Route

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

Jeremy Clarkson.

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Dear Dairy

Horse racing puns

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

Sporting maladies.

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Game Addiction

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Sporting maladies.