Jonathan Swift Enthusiast Gifts

'Well it doesn't say, son, whether the Lilliputians tested him for steroids.'

'I'll be right with you Mr. Gulliver.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'On second thought, perhaps it would look better if your hand was tucked into your jacket.'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

Tea and Sugar Rationing

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

"I see by your copy of 'Newsweek' that Lyndon Johnson has decided not to run for reelection."

'Hot indeed.'

'Can you tell me the nationality of Napoleon?'

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

In the days before Newton discovered gravity...

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

"Perhaps history will remember him differently."

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."

New York City, where even snails live at a fast pace!

Kangaroo in a hurry.

"I think it was Shakespeare who said 'A meadow that isn't just as lovely from the window of a bullet train isn't lovely at all.'"

"'I hate Taylor Swift'? Way to lose a lot of the young vote."

"This is on me. I did say take us to your leader."

"Last time I go on a long haul trip"

"Can you make up a story based on my favorite Taylor Swift song?"

An object at rest tends to remain at ... ouch!

'-and who have you been since we last met?'

'I didn't have time to shop this year so it's Swan-mart gift cards for everyone.'

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"

'Put that light out!'

"The irony is I've always considered myself a champion of the little guy."

1815 - Poor Napoleon got this idea he was going to St Helens.