Swift Wine Lover Gifts

'At that speed, you should put racing stripes on your glass.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Bubbly

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

French wine

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Yoga vs. Prosecco

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."