Joke Hunters Pillows

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'The circle is complete!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Doggone

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Vegetarian Birds

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Your lobster was off!

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

A Club Sandwitch.