Joke Lovers Pillows

"The tooth has to come out anyway, no reason why we can't have a little fun."

"There's a plus side to the credit crunch...My 'lenders elbow' has cleared up!"

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'Loophole, Loophole and Smith Accountants'

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

'We tried artificial flies. We tried lures. We tried live bait. Nothing works...'

"You called for lawn service?"

'You'll be a new man after this procedure.' 'Good, send my bill to the new man.'

"We have a new and cunning plan - we're going to inject the Soil with Viagra."

'And finally. To my Nephew, Sid, who never laughed at my jokes, har de har har!'

'We just don't click anymore.'

"Mom, when you were pregnant with me, did I have a tracking number so you could check on my delivery status?"

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

'Wow, I love your new piercing.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Then the hard drive says to the floppy, 110010001110011..."

"Say - I thought that was my intellectual property."

'Fred's having his mid-life crisis, Helen -- don't get too close.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"Papi, I made up a riddle!"

'This is your final wish. Are you sure you want another cracker?'

Closing Laugh, Speech Therapy

'Look out! It's going to charge!'

I said, everybody out of the car! Jeez, I hate stopping clown cars!

'Sometimes it's hard to take Chief Laughing Horse seriously.'

'Got any road movies?'

'He's a big believer in missile-offense.'

'We're looking for someone with a degree in mathematics who will be willing to work 25 hours a day.'

"Mum, what makes a key maker good at repairing shoes?"

"You jest."

"I had a nightmare and dried the bed."

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

"Sorry, the 'GSOH' in my add stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'."