Literary Joke Lover Pillows

"He didn't have the HEART to tell you."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"The hyenas started it."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Doggone

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Your lobster was off!

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"Eat me"

Vegetarian Birds

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'