Ironic Joke Lover Pillows

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

'Second opinion? Come back tomorrow, I will probably have changed my mind by then...'

Just Buried

"My dad's more disinterested in my upbringing than your dad..!!"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Look! No hands!"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Doggone

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Your lobster was off!

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Vegetarian Birds

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

What do you suggest we do about this?

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'