Ironical Humor Lover Pillows

Pharmacist's diary - Staff shortages again!

"Surveillance camera 743 shows you disabling surveillance camera 742."

Diet Food...& lots of it

"How will we work it off by taking the stairs? We work on this floor."

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

'...Sorry we're stuck on here without any food.'

'Being in here has finally cured my wanderlust.'

"Well, we'll either wipe off the third world debt or pay the contractors invoice"

Healthy eating centre - keep off the grease.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

"I tossed and turned all night."

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

Winter Weather.

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The Hammer

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Where Are They Now?'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'