Ironical Humor Admirer Pillows

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'Gentlemen, if I may have your attention please.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Look! No hands!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

"You are still here."

The Hammer

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

'Where Are They Now?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Men Working Things Out

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"I'll have dessert first."

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

"Wow! Check out the moon."

"I love this time of year."

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."