Literary Humor Lover Pillows

Edward's stick-up notes were often long, rambling, and incoherent.

Sincerely Machiavelli.

Hashtag Woke Up Like This

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

"It's not a very good simile but you'll be like an evening spread out against the sky."

'We'll need to arrange your death just before the book launch'

The Old Man and the Noodle.

Self Help Books: Help Yourself

Book signings by people vaguely connected to Harry Potter/JK Rowling.

"That was me as a boy."

"I say 'Au Revoir', Charles, because I'm moving in with a Frenchman."

A scene from; 'Goodbye, Mr. Chips'.

"But Humpty, I need to go back to college! We've had a great summer together. Now, you go and have a great fall."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"No inscription. Just sign and date here, sign here, here, and initial here."

Campaign against Illiteracy.

'They say he was a bit cracked anyway.'

Bestsellers/Memoirs (sort of).

Fagin from Oliver Twist

The Little Engine That Couldn't Keep His Mouth Shut

Quit humming. You're scaring the fish"

"Er no, I've never tried nitrous oxide."

'Well, the future sounds bleak for me - what about Lady Macbeth, she's a Virgo?'

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

"And ten she said what big ears I'd got. You don't think I've got big ears do you Brian?"

"You should have called us sooner about these termites, Mr Silver."

'Personally, I think your idea of writing nursery rhymes is dumb, Mother.'

Ian Fleming

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."

Great excitement of Miss Kenwigs at the hairdresser's shop

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"It's your hearth."

Erwin P. Litterton - The Man In The Iron Mask