Joke Finders Pillows

Closing Laugh: Bingo

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Suffering from Cooties?

Vegetarian Birds

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Doggone

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Your lobster was off!

Irritable trowel syndrome.