Humor Hunter Pillows

'My feet are killing me. I have twenty corns and thirty bunions.'

"We have ways of making you small-talk."

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

"He said eat some grass and call him in the morning."

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Keeping up with th Joneses would be insane. The Joneses filed for bankruptcy last week!'

A man flees the IRS to Shelter Island.

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

How to increase your income...

"You'll like thiws one. It performs a thousand revolutions a minute."

"Will you be posting this on ewe tube?"

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

'Your dog's paper trained too, huh?'

'Would you like to hear our bank's heartwarming theme song, as I refuse to compromise on your overdraft charges'

'Don't wander far from the path, there's funny things out there on the moors.'

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

'Well you asked if she had a sister...!'

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Lionesses angry at lion as his mobile phone has gone off while stalking gazelle

Oh my goodness! Now these 500 cm of snow are melting!

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"I travel ten thousand miles and all you can tell me is 'Don't shit where you eat'?"

Active Yogurt Culture

'It's a letter from the fish. Apparently the water was too cold for them so they went to Florida for the winter. Dang, we came all this way for nothing.'

Oman Sized Tissues.

'OK, I'm dying here, but you'll pay for it when I'm serving you in my crummy dead-end job.'

'Did you spill my pint?'

'When does squirrel season open?'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"You were warned, Albert."