Humor Hunting Pillows

'I'm hear one of these guys is a certified mind reader, and I think I know who it is.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Piranhaclaus

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."