Joke Book Readers Gifts

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

The Salmon Run

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

A man and his dog both reading.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

Easter Candy Island.

Mou...Man trap!

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

They soon changed their name..

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'