Reading Jokes Gifts

Closing Laugh: Arabian Oil Co. - Back in Two Sheiks

'Hang in there, Muriel, I think you're giving it indigestion!'

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

'Have you been drinking pond water?. . .Because you're four months stagnant.'

'What's the cure for water on the brain?'

"I suggest you get more iron in your system and get the lead out."

"I've been told I need to grow a pear."

"Yes, Maam, you've got ElephANTs. Let me know where you think they're coming in."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Snowprov

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Assault 'n' Vinegar