Humor In Reading Gifts

A man and his dog both reading.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Sock Puppet in Literature

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

Examination.

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Apricots

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

Mister Oedipus.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"I suggest you get more iron in your system and get the lead out."

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

Book

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Hell's Schlegel

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'To get ahead in business, you can't lose your head. Pun intended.'