Comical Readers Gifts

Literal Music.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The Amazing Man-Spider

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

The Salmon Run

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Time Machine Collision

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Mou...Man trap!

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'