Comedy Comic Reader Gifts

The Family Joules: Part 17

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The Amazing Man-Spider

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Time Machine Collision

X-ray Psychology.

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

The Salmon Run

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'A is for Arse.'

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'