Comical Reader Gifts

'I didn't know you could read upside down, Cyril?!'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The Amazing Man-Spider

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

The Salmon Run

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Time Machine Collision

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

X-ray Psychology.

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

Mou...Man trap!

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'