Humor Reader Gifts

'Bless you!'

"Sure they're the frienly loan company. But they have an arrangement with the unfriendly collection agency."

'How'd she handle Thanksgiving with just the two drumsticks?'

"Why, when I was your age. . . I. . . I. . . I was your age."

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

The Salmon Run

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Apricots

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

A man and his dog both reading.

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

Mou...Man trap!

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'