Job Training Gifts

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'I'm impressed.' (showing the ropes)

"Ok, now which one if the big saw?"

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Retraining Unit

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

"This way, O' Brien."

"Take it. It's the dress code."

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Overjumpers

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"