Career Training Gifts

'It's time for my break. Lenny will take good care of you. Good luck!'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

Lee Roy is about to fail the sales training course.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

International Women's Day.

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Pipe Dream.