Career Building Gifts

". . . So what's with bosses these days? It seems like I can never find a good one."

'I am trying to achieve a work-life balance'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Man: "I'm a freelance executive producer." Woman (thinking): "Unemployed."

"I'm afraid a qualification form the Univesity of Hard Knocks doesn't get you far in the biotechnology industry these days."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Climbing the New Ladder of Success.

'Please excuse us for laughing, but we've just noticed what you put down as your suggested starting salary.'

'I hope your company does not have mandatory retirement at 65. I'll have to work until 95 to pay off my student loans.'

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'The parole board finally came through.'

Graduate Joins the Unemployment Queue.

'This job offer will self destruct in 30 seconds!'

"You can't take time off for stress. . . We haven't even given you the job yet!"

Graduate

Rejected resumes.

Will Work for Ever

"They are what keeps me going. You wouldn't believe how expensive it is raising three kids."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'Can you work without supervision?' 'I'd love to TRY!'

"Very bold, but I'm not sure it makes you a risk-taker."

"Here in your resume, I see that you expect compensation commensurate with the value you bring. No one should work for free, son."

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

"What a well-written resume! I could use someone like you to write our job dismissal letters."

Man Crossing His Fingers Behind Back At Interview

'It's not the peasants, majesty! They're college grads seeking career work.'

Business man with places he's visited on his suitcase and places he's worked for on his chair.

I believe you're looking for skilled men.

"....And I'm trustworthy, loyal cheerful, friendly, courteous. . ."

'I thought I was getting a degree in hire education but I got a degree in higher education and no job offers.'

"One hundred billion workers and I'm the only one made redundant. Do you realise how unlucky that makes me feel?"

The most important part of your job application. Font selection.

'I see you have no experience.'

"They might tell you that starting out down here is standard procedure, but it isn't."

Supermom.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."