Career Rebuilding Gifts

Disgraced sports hero image rehab.

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

37 years in the same position.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Working Holiday

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Supermom.

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

She - Interpreter - He.

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Danger Slow Sand.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Graduate

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

Tweaking the CV.

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."