Job Seeking Journeyman Gifts

'Where do you see yourself in five years? Still looking for work?'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'It's chaps like you who are the backbone of these expeditions,Fanshaw.'

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

"He's the guy I'm interested in. He's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in."

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"Forgive me, Judge, but I've had a convenient loss of memory."

Graduate Job Openings

'Then he realized that he was bi-sexual!'

'So how did your attitude test go?'

'Who'd you say recommended this place?'

Lend me a fiver - "Careful Dempster, this swamp is crawling with leeches."

Yeth, hello noodle factory?

'Well, that's a new one on me -- a 'bachelor's degree lite'?'

'Okay, I'll check, but I'm pretty sure Liz Hurley already has a dresser.'

'I don't know all that much about welding, but I really need to get a job before the end of the month.'

Your position on the career map.

"I think you want Koreans advice"

"This isn't quite what was meant by an 'informal' interview."

Texas Abortion Obstacle Course

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

"You'll have to look harder than that to find a job, Son."

'Oh quit complaining, Thomas...at least we got a loaner!'