Job Security Worrier Gifts

"I'm worried management will find someone offshore..."

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

In case you're fired.

'It isn't just you, Wally. We've all been put on the endangered species list.'

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

'We don't need management consultants, we let the detiny decide: You're fired... you're fired... you're fired...'

'But what if my job doesn't want to go to China?'

'The company's restructuring a bit folks, more efficient, more streamlines...so, sorry Phil, we're letting you go.'

"I'm afraid this is one fire we may not be able to put out!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'And this is Bert, our intern. He's been with the company for 46 years!'

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

'The best thing about working here is that nobody is irreplaceable.'

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

Redundancies