Job Realist Gifts

'As you can see, I'm nothing like that person in my resume.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Someone loses his pension.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'Welcome to the office. . . Someone will be along to remove your self esteem and install your paranoia.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"Ambitions... to retire on full pay and just go fishing."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"...I thought I was too smart, too idealistic to end up this way, but LOOK at me! I've become an entrenched bureaucrat!"

"Didn't we have a door over there?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'You suck.'

'With only one sick day left, your boss wishes you a speedy recovery.'

'What happens in the board room stays in the board room, Hawkins!'

"I understand that you've been demanding more vacation time. . . so we've decided to let you have the rest of your life off."

"Did you make the short list?"

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life: 'The pay is good, but the pressure here...'