Job Jokers Gifts

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"You're lucky, Baldo. You have the best job here."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"Now you can send it."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"I'm a bit concerned the staff don't respect me, they've given me a nickname."

Photobooth Photobomb

The world's most unemployable family

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

'No, I did not have a good day at the office, you know that's against the rules.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"So how long have you been working the business?"

Giggle.

I made JB laugh today - I asked him for a rise.

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'