Job Security Jokers Gifts

Job security, that's a laugh. Even the office furniture was made of straw.

'She didn't actually fire me...she's transferred me to the private sector.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'And this is Bert, our intern. He's been with the company for 46 years!'

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

'The best thing about working here is that nobody is irreplaceable.'

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

Redundancies

I don't like the looks of this.

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

'I am sure you will enjoy working here until your inevitable layoff.'