Job Hunting Ninja Pillows

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'The Dow finally hit 10,000. Guess happy days are here again.'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"Tell us something we don't know."

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

'I'm looking for someone to bask in my glow.'

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

'A strong point in your favour is that you're not over-qualified!'

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"Since you applied here your tech skills have become obsolete."

'I'm willing to pay a hiring bonus to anyone who will hire me.'