Recruitment Ninja Pillows

'Ruddy headhunters are all over the firm these days.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

The Card Flinger

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'We appreciate your back of the envelope calculation, Mike. Now put a stamp on the front and send it to somebody who cares.'

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

"We need a better piling system."

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships...

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."