Workplace Ninja Pillows

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Did you happen to see that little note I left about your evaluation?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'We appreciate your back of the envelope calculation, Mike. Now put a stamp on the front and send it to somebody who cares.'

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."